Joe Lightning rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he flicked on the coffee pot in the giant underground warehouse. He played around on the fancy computer terminal for a few minutes. Then he walked over to the sleeping bag set out on the floor against the wall and gave it a swift kick.
“Get your ass out of bed,” Joe said to the lumpy figure of Blue Shield.
“It’s five in the morning, Joe. What the fuck?” Blue Shield’s whiny, groggy voice replied.
“Look, I’m not doing the flowery speech about discipline. You’re not the fuckin’ karate kid. We get up at five and we go to work. That’s it.” Joe gave the lump another swift kick.
Blue Shield got up and rubbed his sore leg. He limped over to the coffee machine and poured himself some coffee.
“This coffee sucks.”
Joe glared at Blue Shield but didn’t say anything.
“Your stupid car seat won’t adjust by the way. I was sitting way back like an idiot.”
“You’re moody today,” Joe said, not being the first time in the last week he’d uttered those words. “Still having the nightmares?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Joe stared at Blue Shield for a second, deciding whether to slap him or just drop it.
“Joe, let’s just go. What did you see on the Robobrain today?”
“Three Rubbernecks are planning a bank robbery. They’re sitting in a car outside of the bank.”
Blue Shield turned pale, then clenched his fists as his whole bald head turned red and his eyebrows sunk to a dark scowl.
“Hey, what’s the problem man?” Joe said.
“Rubbernecks…” Blue Shield practically snorted air out of his nose as he grew more and more agitated.
Joe stared at Blue Shield and nodded. “Bobby?”
Blue Shield’s eyes welled up with water and a snot bubble blew out his nose. “Bobby…”
“Alright, we’re going to need the bazooka. My lightning won’t work on them because they’re too insulated.” Joe frowned and considered Blue Shield for a second. “Look, why don’t you sit this one out. I can’t have you getting emotional on me when we’re kicking ass.”
Blue Shield shook his head. “Let’s murder them.”
The El Camino pulled up a block away from the bank. Joe grabbed the bazooka out of the trunk, only to have Blue Shield yank it out of Joe’s hand and began running towards the bank. Joe put his fingers up to his eyes and shook his head before trailing behind, he knew this would happen.
The Rubbernecks were inside the bank now, tall black shiny things with a human shape but no mouth or eyes. Their heads lolled down to the side with no solid parts in their necks.
Blue Shield walked in and aimed the bazooka at the Rubberneck nearest the door.
“Everybody down!” Blue Shield yelled.
The crowd in the bank dropped to the floor. The bazooka fired at one of the rubbernecks. The missile stuck to the Rubberneck’s chest without exploding. The Rubberneck grabbed its head with its hands and pulled backward, stretching out its neck. Then it released, sending its head flying in Blue Shields direction.
Blue Shield put up his force field before he was hit by the freakish head with the elongated neck. The two other Rubberneck’s began repeatedly slingshotting their own heads on the shield, but every time they struck it there was a thud and no reaction in the shield. The Rubberneck with the missile in its chest pulled back its head and released at one of the people in the bank. The person’s skull imploded inward, crushing so severely that it forced brain matter out of the backside of their head.
“No!” Screamed Blue Shield. He couldn’t drop the shield to help without having his own head bashed in.
The Rubbernecks killed like ten people in three seconds, their heads flashing back and forth rapidly.
Joe came running up behind Blue Shield just as the force field dropped. Blue Shield let out a battle-cry and charged at the Rubbernecks. He got within 5 feet of them and put the shield back up. Only two were caught inside with him, the missile chested Rubberneck was still free.
Joe fired his revolver at missile chest, garnering its attention, though the rounds just simply stuck to the surface of its skin. It returned blows with its shiny black head. Joe did backflips and stunts and stuff just to avoid being hit by the bombardment.
Blue Shield faced the two Rubbernecks inside the shield. He pulled his slingshot out of his jacket pocket. One of them charged at him. He jumped over the top of it and slung the slingshot string around its neck. He pulled the thing close to himself so that he had it in a headlock and then dropped the force field.
“Joe, electrocute my slingshot!” Blue Shield yelled.
Without thinking about it Joe shot red lightning out of his hands into the slingshot. The string went to a thousand degrees hot and started melting through the neck of the Rubberneck. In seconds the head flopped off and the body crumpled to the ground. The force field went back up around Blue Shield and the other untouched Rubberneck.
Joe bounded and leaped his way to the vault, luring the missile chested Rubberneck there. He went through the door, turned to the left, and jumped up to the ceiling, clinging onto a hanging light. The Rubberneck followed him, entered the vault, and looked around confused. Joe hopped down from the ceiling and ran out of the room, closing the vault door to just a crack. He fired lightning at the missile on the Rubbernecks chest. The missile exploded in great fashion, leaving nothing but a stinky burnt rubber smell.
Blue shield took a blow to the stomach from the shiny black head of the Rubberneck. He was winded but that did not seem to stop his attack. He got up to boxing distance with the monster and began sparring with the flapping head. A hook here, a flying noggin there, it was mayhem for both of them. Blue Shield punched so fricken hard once that the thing finally fell to the ground. He didn’t stop though, he kept beating and smashing the thing with his fists. It turned lumpy and quit moving after a few minutes.
Joe watched through the blue and white orb, made no effort to break up the savage expression of hate.
Finally, Blue Shield had enough. He let down his forcefield and walked away from the mess of rubber that lay on the floor. He looked at Joe and began explaining himself.
“Those things killed Bobby-”
“I get it, kid. You needed this.”
Blue Shield nodded.
Joe Slapped him. “Next time we do this together. Look at all these dead ass people.”